Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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