He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
