Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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