I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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