Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
