i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
