My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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