i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
