Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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