Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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