IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Sober January is a disaster.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
