it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
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and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
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Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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