if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
