carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
