he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I wear drunk well.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
