Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
