my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
