Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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