its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
