I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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