HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
