in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
