I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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