I CAN MOONWALK!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
