areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
