I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
