please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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