he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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