There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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