it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
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I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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