i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize