I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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