dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
