and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
