is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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