I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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