last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
