The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
