it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
