McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
