Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Help. Why am I so naked?
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