My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
