just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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