Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
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At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
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I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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