in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
ok first of all what the fuck
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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