you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
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