apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
