chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
