what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
