hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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