so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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