He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize