Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
