The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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