All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
