I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize