do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
