I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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