God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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