I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
