planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
