Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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