Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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