a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
