I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
