So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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