Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
